I hope to learn to have more of those - non bad days. Focus on things that are positive instead of having the emotional slide when something goes wrong. Last night I played volleyball which I haven't done in over a month. It was good. I found out a friend is unexpectedly having her first baby. This was great news. My beau and I went to an amazing buffet dinner and played some slots. Even though we didn't win it was great.
Then this morning I got a message from the cable company wanting to discuss my concerns about billing. Immediate downward spiral. Instantly I fell into a deep depression. I thought this was all going to be taken care of. I thought they would just do the right thing and send me a refund. But instead I have to call, which is a high anxiety issue for me, and I instantly started planning for the person to belittle me and be an a$#hole. This tension is the sweat down the back, heart flutter, can't breathe type thing.
I had therapy today so didn't call him back. After talking with her I have a plan of action to take control of the situation. but I'm still terrified.
Therapy was very helpful today. We went through a totally random dream I had where I was stabbing Mike Meyers with a fork - HA! Now the other details of the dream were extremely important and helpful for seeing what some of my triggers might be. Next week we will start going through triggers and how to start changing my understanding of them in relation to my current life.
Work this week is 62 hours. I'm 1/3 of the way through. Up at 4am so I'm a gonna peace out.
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