The one where you've put off something for years - let's say seven years - because you're messed up and any type of confrontation sets you on an instant spiral into tears and self hate - even though you did nothing wrong. It's just the reaction you have thanks to PTSD.
and then when, thanks to the support of someone amazing, you take care of the issue and suddenly can move on.
That's me right now. Seven years ago I moved and my roommate took over the cable bill. They sent someone out, changed out the machine, gave them a new phone number, and never cancelled my account even though they said they would and later had. So fast forward seven years and the money was still being taken monthly from my account. Unless you understand my level of pure, gripping fear of talking to the cable company and the issues surrounding PTSD you will never, ever understand the pure torment I lived in for all of these years - including four months when I was unemployed and watching every single penny - knowing that the monthly charge was still coming. To anyone who is saying "idiot" you have no concept of how or why this was so difficult for me.
But it is past.
Today I took in my tax returns from 2008 to prove that I hadn't lived at the address since 2008 AND they were able to see in their files that TWO consecutive accounts were running - one was mine that THEY never deleted and the other was the ROOMMATES that was set-up after I left. Someone had set up two identical addresses in the system.
Account deleted!
Monthly savings diverted to something I want - a trip.
Truthfully I hope they reimburse me EVERYTHING they have ever over charged me but in reality I doubt that will happen. At this point I am using it as a money saver. Keeping my hard earned money with ME. I have been using my CBT/ABCDs as much as possible through this issue and through my massive anxiety attack today - shaking, sweating, hyperventilating, and nearly passing out.
A ctivating event: having the cable company bill me again - having to go talk to the cable company
B elief system - companies are out to get you. I will be treated as an incompetent person and my integrity will be questioned. I will be told I am wrong even though I am in the right.
C onsequnces (emotional) of A/B - belittlement of self, anger, frustration, embarrassment, distrust, anxiety
D isputing irrational thoughts and beliefs - I have no idea who I will be working with or their reaction to my situation. Without the monthly financial burden I will feel better about my money management. It is my money and I have done nothing wrong.
E ffects (emotional and cognitive) of revised beliefs - sense of empowerment, accomplishment, relaxed, calm
And the beat goes on...
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